My Journey to Midwife.

As soon as a woman finds out that she's pregnant, the need for planning and an obsessive amount of information begins - or maybe that's just me? One of the biggest things that I stressed out about was where I was going to have this baby, and who was going to catch him or her. With my first pregnancy, I was less educated about different methods and choices during pregnancy and childbirth (but still had a perfectly good experience with my OB/GYN at a very progressive hospital) so I didn't know what I actually wanted out of my birth experience. Now that I am a doula who knows so much more about maternal choices in pregnancy and labor/delivery; the search for a like-minded birth professional was a little trickier. 

We just moved to our city in August, and I hadn't really made alot of friends yet; so I didn't have anyone's experience to go off of. I googled providers and searched for those with recommendations or awards, and found an OBGYN that had a list of recommendations and gold stars next to her name. So, I made an appointment with her and thought that I would give it a shot - I had heard that the doctors here were what you might call "M.D-eities" who can be domineering towards their momma-patients, so I was a tad skeptical. I also found that there is ONE midwife in our area (and she is literally the only one until the next city several hours away) and decided to meet with her as well.

When I met with the OB/GYN, she was very polite at first, but as soon as I said something about being a doula and having specific desires for my birth plan - she got a little scary. It went from "your pelvis is great for babies" to "because you are technically obese and your baby was almost 9 pounds, I think you had undiagnosed gestational diabetes." Now, I am very aware that I am overweight; that's not a shocker to me in the slightest. But the gestational diabetes comment? No. After explaining that I didn't have gestational diabetes and I took the test twice to make sure, she told me that I needed to gain ZERO pounds during my pregnancy or I would NEED a cesarean section. I was ten weeks along. There is no way she would have known that I would need a cesarean section - especially having a healthy first pregnancy and healthy delivery! 

After that encounter, and finding out that the hospitals in our area had a cesarean rate of 42% (which is even higher than our ridiculously high national average), I went to my meeting with my midwife hopeful and desperate. When I got to the birth center, I was surprised at how relaxing and homey it felt inside. The midwife was so nice and listened to all of questions and concerns - and never once made me feel like a burden or annoyance. I addressed the concerns of the OBGYN about my weight and health, and she said that unless I had symptoms or a previous history of gestational diabetes, that there was no reason for concern; if anything changed we would address it. I felt heard and respected. I am so happy that I chose our midwife for this pregnancy, because she has offered me personal support and comfort, replied to all of my crazy texts about whether or not to be concerned, and overall made me feel more prepared for this baby than I ever would have if I had just bit my tongue and went to that OB/GYN. 

One of the biggest things that I have learned and stress as a doula, is that mothers need to feel respected and supported in their choices. Using fear to make mothers do what you want them to do is an irresponsible act and is one of the causes of the rising maternal mortality rate here in the United States.  For me, the best choice for my pregnancy care this time was my midwife. For you, it could be different! But I want to stress to you that YOU are the driver of your pregnancy, and YOUR choices and concerns should not be taken lightly. You matter and how you birth matters.

I will continue to write about my experiences during my pregnancy, and I hope that it might encourage some of y'all who might be struggling with the same issues to stand up for yourselves and make informed choices! 

Stay sweet,