One of the the biggest complaints I have about being pregnant is when people feel the need to comment on my pregnant body. I know that pregnancy is an exciting time (hello I AM the pregnant one here), but the number of people that I get commenting on MY body (or trying to touch me!) on a daily basis is ASTOUNDING.
This weekend I was at a family friend's crawfish boil, and several people asked to touch my belly throughout the day. A few of the people who asked were my close family friends and I had no problem letting them rub up on Baby Dos, but some of them were strangers who were friends of my friends; that is a hard pass, folks. One woman, after *complimenting* me about how I was "all baby" and didn't look "that far along", was visibly upset that I wouldn't allow her to touch MY body and told me "you're just like my daughter-in-law! She wouldn't let me rub on my grandbaby either!"
Well, then.
I wanted to launch into a full tirade about how another person's body is theirs and theirs alone, and that she was in no way entitled to touch her daughter-in-law's body any more than mine; but I didn't. I simply said "I'm sorry that you feel that way", and walked away. This woman was just like so many others that I have met during my last pregnancy and this one as well; people feel like their comments are complimentary, or that wanting to touch my baby bump is some how a universally accepted custom that I should be okay with.
What people don't seem to understand is that every woman is different; and their journeys to baby are all different as well. Some women may love for you to tell them that they look "little" or "all baby" because they have struggled with their weight before and are worried about it now during their pregnancy especially; or some might take that "compliment" and hear that they aren't as big as they should be - causing them to worry about the growth of their baby. Some women might like to hear how big their belly looks because they have struggled to put on any weight for the baby; while others might start worrying about their weight gain. I have even been told (by both family members and some less-than-friends) that the baby "must have eaten some of my fat because my face looked thinner" or that I "look so pretty - my face looks thinner." The moral of this rant is that if you don't know these pregnant mothers well, please don't feel like you are entitled to touch their bodies. Better yet, go with this motto; "If you didn't put it in there, don't touch!"
I know that pregnant bellies are hand-magnets, and that everyone thinks that their compliments come from the heart, but it is not always so.
Next time you feel the need to comment on a pregnant mother's appearance, try something like "you look very nice today", or simply "you look radiant!" And as far as touching someone's belly is concerned - wait until SHE offers or brings it up before you go reaching for that bump!
Do any of these comments give you dejá vu? Got any funny stories about it? Let me know in the comment below!
Stay sweet,
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