Augustus: A Birth Story

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Augustus' birthday had been long awaited and desired by me and my family - he was a big boy already and I could feel his weight with every movement I made - I was ready to have him on the outside. I had started to lose my mental fortitude, and worried that this baby was never going to come out on his/her own! Thankfully, my salvation came at 39 weeks and one day.

I knew that the day had finally come on July 11th, 2016. I woke up at 7:30am to my bloody show and contractions no more than six minutes apart. I was still a little hesitant to declare that I was in labor  as I had been experiencing early labor symptoms for the last two weeks and didn't want to get everyone excited again. I had an appointment with my midwife that day at noon, so I decided to just text her to let her know what was going on, but that I would see her at noon for my appointment. All morning I tidied up the house, packed and repacked our bag, did my makeup to distract myself, and ate a big lunch just in case I lost my appetite later (I later regretted said lunch when I had to give it all back to the porcelain god); the whole time I was breathing through increasingly strong contractions and back laboring pains. Once we got into the car to go to the birth center for my appointment, my contractions were steadily about five and half minutes apart and growing strong enough that I had to focus to breathe through them on my own. I had been hovering at a 1.5cm dilated for the last two weeks, so I was looking for any kind of progress or encouragement from this visit - and validation that I was NOT crazy and was actually in labor. When she checked me at my appointment, I was at a four, rounding the corner to five; praise the Lord! 

She sent me home to labor in the comfort of my own environment, and told me to come back when things started to get more real and intense. I called Christopher to come home from work on the way home from the birth center, and texted my doula to let her know that today was finally the day! Once I got home the contractions picked up and began to get more intense, so I labored in my bathroom by myself until Christopher got there. After about an hour or so of us laboring together alone, I called my doula, Regina, to come and meet us at the house to help with my support. Regina came at around 1:30pm and greeted me as if I wasn't ninety-percent naked and making cow noises; bless that woman. She complimented us on our teamwork and our use of the pain management techniques that we had learned in her birthing classes; and she took the first commemorative photo of us during this labor.

All smiles at the beginning of active labor.
Once Regina got there, I stopped timing my contractions and watching the clock in general, but I know that I labored with Regina and Christopher in my bathroom for another two-ish hours before I started to scare Bonnie from the noises that I was making every four minutes. I asked Regina to please alert my midwife, Kelly, that we would be heading to the birth center soon...

The car ride to the birth center was AWFUL. I was bent over our car seats in the back seat of our car as Christopher tried to drive carefully down the highway, and then very bumpy streets to the center. It seemed like an eternity, but I am fairly certain that it was only about fifteen minutes.

We arrived at the birth center at about 4:00pm (we probably arrived there sooner but it took me almost twenty minutes to walk from the car to the door), and got settled into my favorite of the birthing suites. My midwife was finishing up with her last client of the day, so her student midwife, Beth, took my vitals and listened to the baby's heart tones. When my midwife came to check me, I was having contractions every three minutes for about a minute long - and my back labor had intensified. I was so excited  when Kelly told me that I was already at 9cm dilated! Everyone in the room was so excited that my labor was going so well and so quickly - we assumed that there would be a baby here by 8:00pm!

We felt so close together, bringing this baby into the world.
Christopher was an amazing support partner.
We were wrong.

8:00pm came and went, my contractions were getting stronger and my back was really starting to hurt; but no progression. My cervical lip was puffy on one side because of the position and size of the baby's head; meaning that I couldn't dilate to a full 10cm that would allow the baby's head to pass through into transition. After begging Kelly to do something to help me progress, she broke my water at 8:30pm and gave me Arnica oil both orally and rubbed on my cervix - OWW! 

The birthing pool helped alot with pain management during the first several hours of my labor.

After my waters were broken my contractions became so intense that I began to lose it. I remembered the quote about the difference between pain and suffering; that you choose to suffer. I was suffering. All semblance of my magic natural birthing experience was disappearing before my eyes. I told my birth team that I wanted to quit, and that I wanted to go to the hospital. Kelly told me that she supported me but asked to wait just thirty minutes to see if anything changed - I begrudgingly agreed. I told my doula that I couldn't do it, and she reminded me that I WAS doing it. I said I wanted a c-section, and I was told that it would take at least two hours JUST for an epidural. I wanted to punch everyone in the face. I started getting hysterical and Kelly reminded me that it would get me nowhere, and that I needed to calm myself down. 

Mad that I couldn't get any relief for at least two hours, I decided to try and refocus myself and remember why I was doing this. I changed up my laboring and went and laid down on the bed on my side (I had been laboring in the birth pool and then in the bathroom as well), and tried to be as still and quiet as possible (I had been rocking back and forth and making noises that sounded like a cow/lion/bear). I clenched all of my muscles together and closed my eyes just trying to make the waves of pain calm down, even if just for a second. I prayed to God for the hundredth time that night, asking Him to forgive me for trying to do it on my own and for fighting the process. I prayed that God would give me the strength and endurance to bring this baby earthside safely. I prayed that He would end my suffering, and let me accept the pain as a part of bringing this baby into the world. Christopher says that he didn't know what was going on with me at this point because I was acting completely different than I had been before - he thought I might've been dying or maybe labor has just stopped. After about forty-five minutes of refocusing and clenching all of my muscles, I realized that I was probably preventing the baby from moving down at all because I was closing off my pelvis... So I stopped clenching for just a second and BAM! I felt a head hit my birth canal like a cannonball. 

Regina told me that my leg started to rise and she knew that something was happening. When I felt the baby's head strut descending, I let out a scream (and scared the bejeebies out of everyone in the room because I had been quiet like death for almost an hour). Kelly asked "was that a push?! Are you pushing?!" and I said that I wasn't sure. She checked me and told me the best thing I had heard all day long - the baby's head was through! My cervix had FINALLY moved out of the way!

My birth team helped me move from the bed to a birthing stool and I felt the urge to PUSH. I pulled up on that birthing stool so hard that the next day I had bruises on my chest from straining so much. Kelly put a mirror under the stool so Christopher and I could see the baby's head making its way down the birth canal (both really cool and kinda disturbing at the same time). Once the head was crowning, Kelly told me that I needed to get off of the birth stool to help prevent excessive tearing - so they helped me onto my knees on the side of the bed. Christopher was behind me pushing on my back and cheering me on - telling me about our baby's hair and how close he/she was. Regina was on the bed, lending me her hands (which I probably almost broke, I am so sorry girl!). 

People describe what it is like when you're crowning - but they can't really do it justice. It was the single most painful thing that I have ever experienced, and yet I was SO excited to be going through it because it meant that I was almost done - my baby was almost here! When the head emerged fully, it was only two pushes before my baby was shot into this world (actually felt so fast that I was worried that no one caught him). I was so overwhelmed when Kelly passed the baby between my legs so I could pull it up to my chest - I was so relieved and exhausted. The umbilical cord was so thick that I couldn't see whether I had a son or a daughter at first - but once I re-positioned slightly, I saw that we had a son!

Praise the Lord!
I am so deliriously happy and exhausted at this moment.
First latch was a success!
Augustus Phillip Ross was born at 11:47pm on July 11th, 2016, after an eighteen hour labor full of surprises and trials. He weighed 9lbs 10oz, was 21.5 inches long, and had a head circumference of 15.2 inches (that's the 99.99% in case you were curious). He was perfect. He took his sweet time to cry, but once he did I could hear how strong he was. I cried. 

Daddy weighing his little (big) boy.
Looking back on this experience, I can say that it is both the hardest and most humbling thing that I have ever done. The pain and fear that I felt, God used to bring me closer to Him; because I couldn't have done it alone. I also couldn't have done it without my amazing birth team, and my incredibly supportive hubby; they carried me through the valleys so I could get to the top of the mountain. 


To my son, Augustus...
God used your birth to bring me to my knees - literally, and trust in Him alone because I knew that I could not do it by myself. I would still do every single second over again to bring you earthside; I love you.

Stay sweet,